The Funniest of The Simpsons

Homr

2005-04-18T12:35:00.000+10:00

Hi and Hello!
Well, it's been a while since my last entry, and i have to apologise to you all for the delay. But i've been quite busy recently and haven't really had the time. But i've got the time right now so I thought i might as well get onto it.
This episode is called Homr and is Episode 9 of Season 12. This is an episode again about Homer. You may have seen it but you may not have, but it is still a classic none-the-less. Unfortunately, i do not believe this episode is funny all the way through, as Homer isn't as dumb, as you will soon see. But this is the Funniest of the Simpsons, so you don't need worry about the un-funny parts... just sit back and enjoy! And thank you for visiting!

The Plot:

The Simpsons go to an animation convention where they see all sorts of animation. The convention holders give an example of motion capture animation. They ask for a volunteer and Homer is on stage immediately. Homer does his bit and is so impressed he takes out his life savings and buys 500 shares in animation incorporated. In which the company goes bankrupt and so does Homer. He turns to Barney for financial help and Barney tells him about scientific experiments. Homer of course starts doing these scientific experiements. While viewing an x-ray of his brain the scientists discover a crayon in his brain. They take it out and Homer is suddenly much smarter, and also becomes Lisa's best friend. Homer does a lot more things with his increased brain power, but he loses friends along the way...

The Funny Parts:

The opening credits, the transportation tubes from Futurama to drop of the family...

Fry is accidently dropped off.

But gets sucked up again and replaced by Bart.

The episode starts...

Hehe.

Homer: "Animation is so great, it's way better than... Whatever the alternative is."

Everyone is now sitting in a demonstration of Montion Capture animation.

Demonstrator: "Folks you're about to witness the exciting new process of motion capture animation. Now, we'll need a..."

Before the guys even finishes...

Homer: "Pick me! Pick me!"

Homer: "I'm a little teapot short and stout. This is my handle this is my spout."

After Homer's little performance he goes off stage and goes to the toilet.

Homer: "Zipperooni... Ah yeah... Urinal cake eroding, eroding, eroding..."

Homer: "...Gone!"

At work later...

Homer: "That motion capture suit is just what this country needs... Just think of all the hilarious motions going un-captured! Like this!"

Homer decides to get a 'piece of the action' by buying some stocks.
First... withdrawing the life savings. But he needs Marge's signigture.

Homer: "Hello Marge"
Homer [as Marge]: "Hi Homie"
Homer: "Sign this please"

Homer: [as Marge]: "You're the boss!"

Homer [as child]: "Daddy, please ask the man for some candy."
Homer: "No no, no candy for you."
Homer [as child]: "Well at least get some candy for yourself."
Homer: "Heh, kids"
Banker: "*Sigh*... here's your candy"
Homer (runs): "So long sucker!"

Banker: "Ah sir! You're life savings?"
Homer: "Ah yeah. I see that it's in bill form. Excellent."

Homer: "I'd like to buy 500 shares of animotion incorporated."
Man: "Ok. Ah now before I execute this order are you sure you understand the risks of stock ownership?"
Homer: "Absolutely."

Homer imagines...

Song playing: We're in the money!

Homer calls the stocks...

Lady on phone: "For automated stock prices, please state the company name."
Homer: "Animotion."
Lady: "Animotion, up one and one half."
Homer: "Yahoo!"
Lady: "Yahoo, up 6 and a quarter."
Homer: "Huh? What is this crap?"
Lady: "Fox broadcasting, down 8."

Homer is talking to his stocks in bed.

Homer: "Sleep tight my beloved, you're my ticket out of this hell-hole."
Marge: "Homer!"
Homer: "Sorry... OUR ticket out of this hell-hole."

Kent Brockman: "Turning to the stock market, animotion is up an eigth..."
Homer: "Yes!"
Kent Brockman: "After plunging 75 points this morning."
Homer: "Ouh.. I hope plunging means up, and 75 means 200."
Kent Brockman: "The firm declared super-duper bankruptcy. Which is terrible news for the company's only stock-holder..."

Kent Brockman: "... Homer Simpson."

Homer: "Family meeting! Family meeting! Ok people let's kep this short, we all want to get back to our families."

Homer informs the family about losing all their money...

Marge: "You lost all our money?!"
Homer: "Point of order. I didn't lose all our money. There was enough left for this cowbell."

THe cowbell falls apart...

Homer: "Damn you ebay!"

Homer: "I have a way to solve our money woes. You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree, signify by getting indignant."
Marge: "Are you crazy?! I'm not gonna be a surrogate mother!"
Homer: "Come on Marge! It's uterUS, not uterYOU."
Marge: "Forget it!"

Barney informs Homer he makes money from experiments...

Barney: "There are a few side-effects."
Moe: "Are those ears?!"

Barney: "Ow! Not so loud!"

Homer goes to the medical center...

Scientist: "First we'll test this experiment perfume on you..."

Homer: "Ah! It burns!"
Scientist: "Hmm... we'll call it desert breeze."

Next experiment...

Scientist 1: "That appetite surpressent is amazing!"
Scientist 2: "Homer, you really have no desire to eat that food?"
Homer: "Food?"

Homer: "I'm BLIND!"

Scientist 1: "Who's gonna buy a pill that makes you blind?"
Scientist 2: "We'll let marketing worry about that!"

The lights light up but the rat keeps beating him to it!

Scientist 1: "Where did that rat come from?!"
Scientist 2: "He must have brought it in with him!"

The Scientists find a crayon in Homer's brain!

Homer: "There's a crayon in my brain?"

Scientist 1: "Do you have any idea how this might have happened?"
Homer: "Well it might have happened when I was six..."

Homer: "14... 15... 16!!"

Homer sneezes!

Scientist 1: "Mr. Simpson, this could be responsible for your sub-normal intelligence."
Homer: "Hey! I came here to be drugged electrocuted and probed, not insulted!"
Scientist 2: "We could remove the crayon for you. It could vastly increase your brain power. Or it could possibly kill you."

Homer: "Increase my killing power aye? Let's do it!"

Homer has the crayon removed and is now smarter...

The sign at the library.

Homer is sitting watching T.V solving rubik's cubes.

Homer: "Hey Flanders! Heading for church? Well I thought I could save you a little time..."
Ned: "Oooh! Found a new shortcut?"
Homer: "Better. I was working on a flat tax proposal when I accidently proved there's no God."
Ned: "We'll just see about th... Uh-oh. Well, maybe he made a mista... Nope... it's airtight. Can't let this little doozy get out!"

Skinner: "Welcome to the third lecture in our series on: "Not putting things up your nose."
Homer: "You see, it's cool to be smart. So be like me and use your mind. Paint a painting. Sing a song and dance a dance."
Skinner: "Thank you. Unfortunately due to budget cuts we are canceling our music and dance. Please evacuate the auditorium before it's bulldozed into a mini-mall."

After Homer does a safety report on the plant and hands it into the authourities, everybody hates him...

Homer: "I'm dedecting a distinct strain of anti-intellectualism in this tave... Ahh!"

Someone hits him with a plank.

Moe: "Power off Einstein!"

Homer asks Lisa what she does when she's unhappy because she's smart...
Homer: "A walk... that's a really good idea."

Homer goes for a drive...

Homer doesn't laugh because he's too smart.

Someone hits him with a plank. So he goes back to the medical research center. They give him a name of an un-lisenced surgeon...

Homer: "I want you to stick this crayon into my brain."
Moe: "No problem. The old crayola-oblongota!"

Lisa is drawing a picture of her Hero. Homer.

Lisa: "Ahh... now for a little powder blue!"

The crayon is missing...

Lisa: "Oh no! He wouldn't!"

Moe: "Alright, tell me when I hit the sweet spot."
Homer: "Deeper, you pusillanimous pilsner pusher!"
Moe: "All right, all right."
Homer: "De-fense! Ooh! Ooh! De-fense! Ooh! Ooh!"

Moe: "Eh, that's pretty dumb. But, uh..."

Homer: "Extended warranty? How can I lose?"
Moe: "Perfect."

Marge: "Sweetheart. A missing crayon could be anywhere."

Homer jumps through the window...

Homer: "WHO WANTS LOTTERY TICKETS!"

Marge: "Ok it's in his brain..."
Lisa: "Dad how could you. We were connecting in such a way."
Homer: "We were what what in the what what?"

Homer drops a sweet letter for Lisa that he wrote before he went dumb again...
Lisa wants a hug, Homer thinks she's trying to get his sandwich...

Homer: "Ahh! Ohhh! You want a hug! Now that i know how to do!"

Homer: *Chews on sandwich* "Mmm... hug..."

And that's it folks! Hope you enjoyed this episode even though it did take quite a time to appear! Who knows when the next one will be up! It just takes so long to do! Seriously... I reckon i had to watch this about 10 times over to do everything! But it is worth it... So maybe i'll do one every fortnight...

Thanks again for viewing this blog and i'll see you next time!

Weekend at Burnsie's

2005-03-21T01:37:00.000+11:00

Hello once again!
For those of you visiting for the first time, welcome to what I like to call - "The Funniest of the Simpsons" Blog. I am very greatful for your visit and please take the time to appreciate your stay as I appreciate your visit. For those of you returning, this is good as it means I'm doing something right! - If you have a list of bookmarks that you visit often, please add this to your 'weekly' list as I'd love for you to visit whenever I update (which is usually sometime on a Sunday).

This week's episode is from Season 13, episode 16 and would have to be one of my favourites of all time - What's funnier than Homer? Well, Homer smokin' a bit o' weed that's what! This whole episode is pretty much about him, much like the last episode, and is therefore garaunteed to be funny! So why don't you sit back in your seat and let the "lol"'s roll on!

The Plot:

The show begins with Marge presenting mutated vegetables to the family, which she is digusted by when Lisa's potato eats her carrot. Marge decides to grow her own vegetables, but her crop is overrun with Crows. So she puts up a scarecrow... which Homer knocks down... The crows then believe he is the "Alpha Crow". When he betrays the crows, they attack him and peck his eyes, which he needs medicinal marijuana to cope with... If you want to know what happens... read on!

The Funny Parts:

As mentioned before... the show starts with Marge presenting new and BIGGER vegetables for dinner.

Marge: "Who can guess what's different about Dinner tonight?"

Homer: "Eh, same old garbage!"
Marge: "Oh you two! We're eating genetically modified vegetables. Look how big they are!"
Homer: "This corn doesn't look so big"
Marge: "That's baby-corn!"

Homer: "BuWHAA?!"

Marge heads out into the garden and plants her crop, which the crows attack.

Marge: "Go away! Go away!"

She begins to make a scarecrow by placing the cross in the ground and then going inside to get clothing.

When she comes outside again she grabs the broom because...

The Flandereses are praying!

Marge: "Shoo! Go away! Shoo Shoo!"

When Marge completes the scarecrow the crows won't go near the crop. When homer comes home he sees the silouette of the scarecrow and is frightened, so he kills it!

Homer then becomes the alpha crow!
Homer: "Aww look, i've made some friends! Now go do my bidding, um, whatever that may be."

Homer then goes to Moe's...

Homer: "So Lisa says by killing their enemy I've become the alpha-crow"
Moe: "I gotta admit I'm kinda nervous here. We haven't seen Barney since they enveloped him."
Homer: "I'm sure he'll turn up, look here's one his buttons" (Homer holds up a button with blood dripping off it)...
Moe: "Alright that's it, get 'em outta here! This ain't no Crowbar!... This, is a crowbar..."

Moe: "See, they got the little stools and everything..."

Homer: "That's Russell Crow, Cameron Crow, Crow Diddley, Hume Crownin, Gregory Peck..."
Marge: "Hmm, Homer I'm very uncomfortable having a gang of crows in our bedroom."

Homer: "It's a MURDER honey, a group of crows is called a MURDER"
Marge: "I'm sleeping on the couch."

The crows attack Homer.

Homer: "Owww!!! That is not a worm! Owww!!!"

Homer has to go to the doctor and gets stitches in his eyes. Which he needs medicinal marijuana to cope with, so he takes it.

Homer calls Marge while at work...

Marge: "Hello?"
Homer: "Marge! I just realised! I am the 'OU' in LOUD..."

Homer: "And if you tell anyone!"

Marge: "Honey, I like it when you call but we just talked five minutes ago. Hang on I've got call waiting... Hello?"
Homer: "Hey! It's me, i got Marge on the other line and she is totally bumming me out!"

Ned arrives at the door...

Ned: "Hi-Diddly-Hey Homer!"

Homer: "Oh my God! This dude does the best Flanders! You've got the moustache... and the diddly! OK! Now do Wiggum!
Ned: "Heh, Homer, it's me, Ned."
Homer: "Oh right, the God dude. Hey, I got a question for ya! Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?"
Ned: "Well sir, of course, he could, but, then again... wow! As mellon scratches go that's a Honey-Doodle!"
Homer: "Now you know what I've been going through!"

Homer accidently walks into Mr. Burns' office...

Homer: "Oops! I thought this was the Can man! HAHAHA!"
Mr. Burns: "Well! You're a happy Homer! What's your name young man?"
Homer: "YOU JUST SAID IT! HAHAH!"
Mr. Burns: "Well if you like that listen to this: Working hard or, hardly working?"
Homer: "AhaHAAHHA!"

Homer: "You're covered with a very fine fuzz..."

Homer arrives home...

Marge: "Where did you get that suit?!"
Homer: "Whoa! Whoa! One person at a time! Yes you."
Marge: "Look, I'm really starting to worry. There's half-eaten cupcakes everywhere, we're all out of paper clips, and the curtains smell like doob."

Homer walks into the other room...

Homer: "WE HAVE A KITCHEN?!"

After medicinal is ruled out - they burn it all. The People standing around the fire start to breathe in a little bit too much, so the Police put hair on the fire. The people then start to cough and splutter...

Homer watches from afar...

Homer: "Ohh I could've smoked that pot... and worn that hair..."
Marge: "Homie you don't need drugs anymore, your eyes are all better."
Homer: "Eyes? What are you talking about?"

Lisa: "I want my old Dad back, the one that was telling all the time and... y'know, i'm not really sure what i want."
Marge: "Homer it's over, I want you to look at your children, and promise them you will never do drugs again."
Homer: "Alright, I'll do it for my kids."
Bart: "As long as you're doing things for me, could you tie up your bath robe when you walk around the house?"

Homer: "NEVER!"

Moe: "Look I'm really glad you're off the wacky tabacky."
Lenny: "Yeah, you were gettin' all spacey and everything. We were gonna have an intervention."
Carl: "Yeah but at the planning party, I got alcohol poisoning. Heh, I nearly died!"
*They all laugh*
Moe: "I was already making excuses not to go to your funeral!"

*They all laugh again*

The family is sitting around the table...
Homer: "It's been three days and my mind is clearer. My sperm count is up and, I'm able to recognise simple shapes and patterns."
Lisa: "Dad, you just said that three minutes ago."

Homer: "Un-regardless I am no longer a slave to this!"
Marge: "Why are you keeping that?!"

Homer: "As a reminder Marge."

After Mr. Burns is revived after his dance at the investors meeting, Mr. Smither is in control of his hands...

Mr. Smithers: "Mr. Burns, you're alive!"
Mr. Burns: "Yes I regained conscienceness after my big dance number. Those strings pulling my every which way jostled my heart from it's slumber."
Homer: "And you wanted to take him to the Hospital"
Mr. Burns: "Oh and you didn't?! Well the worm has finally shown it's fangs! Smithers make me slap him!"
*Slap*
"You call that slap? Make me slap you!"
*Slap*
"Now both"
*Slap Slap*
"Now just you"
*Slap*
"Now give me a taste!"
*Slap*
"He he. Now both again"
*Slap Slap*
"Now all three!"
*Slap slap slap*
"Excellent!"

Well, I hoped you enjoyed this weeks episode! I could have done so much more on this I know, but this is the "Funniest of the Simpsons" blog is it not?! - Thank you so much for dropping buy! Have a nice day!

Children of a Lesser Clod

2005-03-13T04:01:00.000+11:00

>Warning - Large Post!<

Welcome back!
After quite a bit of positive feedback from various people throughout the internet and the real world (as a apposed to the non-real one?), i have decided to continue with this idea of bring you the best and funniest parts of... The Simpsons!

First of all - I have to apologise to Timsky, as I did say I would do a specific episode for him, but I sort of already had one lined up that I just have to share with people. But fear not Timsky, i will do that ep soon! Secondly - i have changed the image files to .gif which should help those with dial-up *yawn* so they can enjoy this great page just that little bit more! There is a .gif on this page with somethine special, that will take a little while to load...

The episode we're going through this week is "Children of a Lesser Clod" - Season 12 Episode 16 - which I found to be quite an amusing episode. Like many episodes that focus on Homer, this one had me laughing out loud quite a few times. Hopefully you'll find it as funny as I did! So here we go...

The Plot:

In this episode, it begins with the whole town of Springfield at a YMCA demonstration night where the people try out sports and they can join up if they wish. The whole town laughs at this proposal when the presenter suggests it. While playing basketball, Homer breaks his leg and is required surgery. As a result of this surgery he is unable to anything (even work) and becomes very bored. Ned Flanders brings his kids over and ask Homer to watch over them while he goes out, which Homer agrees to do. This gives him the idea that he could open a daycare centre, which he also does. In all the fuss of loving all these kids, he forgets about his own kids and they become jealous and start scheming to ruin the business.

The Funny Parts:

Beginning this episode we have an outside shot of the YMCA building to set the scene. The sign is quite amusing...

The basketball starts with Lenny... running down the court...

He jumps as high as he can, but unforunately misses the ring by quite a bit...

He then proceeds to fall and in doing so crushes moe!

He then gets up and says...
Lenny: "That's a foul... I am taking the ball, and going home!"
Moe: "Aye aye! That's not your ball!"

The next scene Carl is at the Free Throw Line...

Homer: "Woo! You da man CARL! I believe you can FLY!"

Carl: "Boy, I am so sick of everyone assuming I'm good at Basketball because I'm African-American"

He goes up...

And...

Breaks the ring and smashes the backboard!

Homer and his team proceed to make a plan so they can score. The plan turns out that Skinner pretends to tie his shoe and bends down on one knee, while Homer runs, jumps on his back and launches into a dunk...

Homer: "Eat my dust Mortals!"

Which he sorely mis-judges, and breaks his knee! He says that he's ok... until...

Homer ends up in Hospital where Dr. Hibert is asking him questions...

Dr. Hibert: "Now how did this happen?"
Homer: "Maybe a little Morphine would refresh my memory..."

Homer: "Ugh! Ahh... HahI dunno, i'm still a little hazy..."
Dr. Hibert jabs him again.
Homer: "Oh Yeah!! Now I remember like it was yesterday..."
Dr. Hibert: "It happened today."
Homer: "Hey man, you're harshing my buzz.. Anyway, it all started when I was... "

Homer proceeds to explain through a cut-scene how he went to dunk but went to high, into space, slam dunked saturn and then George Jetson ran into his knee, causing the break.

Dr. Hibert: "We've got to get you into surgery!"
Homer: "Maybe a little Morphine would get me there quicker"
Dr. Hibert: Sighs, and then jabs him again.

The family are then watching Homer in surgery...

Lisa: "So many times we've seen our father go under the knife"
Marge: "One more and I get a free hysterectomy!"

Dr. Hibert wheels Homer out of the emergency room on a wheelchair...

Dr. Hibert: "Now Homer you'll have a full recovery from your spinal cord injury."
Marge: "What spinal cord injury?!"
Dr. Hibert: "He fell off the gurney" *Homer looks sheepish* "But it will take plenty of time and rehab before he can go back to work"
Homer: "Miss work? But my life would be nothing without the nucleon plant"
Dr. Hibert: "Oh! You're also responsible for this hefty hospital bill. You shouldn't have ordered all those hospital haircuts and porno films."
Homer: "But Dr. Screwlittle sounded like a delightful romp! Well you don't have to worry about the bill. We've never welshed on a-LOOK A BEAR!" *Homer points out of screen* "RUN!"

He gets up to run but...

Breaks his leg again and screams in pain.

Then the bear comes into view scratching his head!

Homer is now at home with nothing to do and is sad because Lenny is spinning the wheel and Carl is on his Pogo-stick... Barney comes to the door while Marge is sweeping...

Barney: "Mrs. Simpson, can Homer come out to play?"
Marge: "Oh Homer won't be able to play for a long time"
Barney: "Hmm... would you make me some jello?"

Marge: "You shoo Barney Gumble!"

Ned Flanders comes in to ask a favour while Homer is at home...
Ned: "Hey hey Homer!"
Homer: "Oh it feels so good to talk to another human being! (Under breath) Stupid Flanders"
Ned: "Hey Homer I need to ask ya a favour, my babysitter canceled and I got tickets to a Christian rock concert..."

Ned: "Hehe, it's gonna be one wholesome evening! You think Marge could take care of 'Rowdy Roddy' and 'Typhoon Todd'?"
Homer: "Well Marge isn't here, she had to identify a body down at the Morgue."
Ned: "Would you mind watchin the kids? I'm kinda in a pickle here."
Homer: "Well they would keep me company..."

Homer: "and this pickle you're offering only sweetens the deal..."

Ned comes home from the concert...

Rod: "Can Mr. Simpson watch us everyday?!"
Ned: "Oh Roddy! He's not runnin' a daycare centre!"
Homer: "Don't tell me what I'm not doing!"
Ned: "So you are running a daycare centre?"
Homer: "Oho you'd like that wouldn't ya?!"
Ned: "Well I sure would! It would give the boys a place to go after school!"
Homer: "Then I'll do it! Just to see the look on your face!"
Ned Smiles...
Homer: "That's the one."

S Homer starts a daycare centre and it's at The Simpsons... They are lots of little kids running around and the doorbell rings... It's Apu...

Apu: "Hello, I would like to take advantage of your baby prison"
Marge: "We're calling it daycare."

Apu: "Yes whatever just take them!"
Homer: "Aww, aren't they sweet... Any medical things I should know about?"
Apu: "Yes probably" *Already running down the street*

One of the things that we see Homer do at the daycare centre...

Homer makes the tree shake wildly while the kids are inside... When the shaking stops...
Milhouse: "That was Treemendous! Where's Ralph?!"

Ralph: "I almost died!"

Homer is nominated for an award for caring for the kids, and while at the ceremony Bart and Lisa show the world what Homer is really like with some home footage...

Notice the Dog gagging!

Homer is using Maggie for Poker!
Moe: "Come to new Papa!!"

Apu is disgusted and begins to collect up his children!

Homer panics because he's going to lose the children he loves, so he captures them and stuffs them all in a pady wagon and drives off.

Ralph: "Where are we going Mr. Simpson?"
Homer: "I'll tell you where we're not going! Jail!"
Milhouse: "Then you better turn..."

Homer swerves and hits a tree!

Arnie Pie in the Sky: "He's jumping out of the car Kent! He's trying to climb over the fence! Now he's realising he's too fat! He's digging a hole like a dog! Now he's given up on that and he's running back and forth! He's climbing into a pipe and he seems to be stuck! His legs are dangling in a comical fashion! It's the saddest thing I've ever seen!"
Kent Brockman: "Arnie how are the children?!"
Arnie: "I can't see through metal KENT!"

The Police arrive...

Chief Wiggum: "Alright Fatty! Out of the pipe!"

'Three Mistrials Later' - Homer makes peace with the kids and life is once again back to normal for the simpsons...

Well! That's it! Whoa! That took quite a long time! Hope you enjoy this one - after so much effort! I think i need to cut down on funny parts... but that really hard with this show! Trust me! I tried!

Debut: Skinner's Sense of Snow

2005-03-06T05:26:00.000+11:00

Welcome!.. To the very first post of a brand new blog - created with one objective: bringing you the funniest parts of one of the greatest TV shows ever made... The Simpsons! Yes that's right... finally, someone you know and can trust is going to provide you with all the good stuff from everything simpsons! This will hopefully become a good resource for those of you who love the simpsons, to find all the funny episodes and all the funniest parts... or perhaps there's a particular scene you're after? That's where I can help!

The Plot:

Anyways... The debut of this blog is a very favoured episode of mine called Skinner's Sense of Snow. Episode 8 of Season 12. The episode begins with the simpsons going to the circus. While at the circus a storm brews and becomes a blizzard. The next morning the whole town is snowed out, but Springfield Elementary school is still open. The Simpson kids go to school and eventually get snowed in. Homer and Ned go to resuce them while Skinner gets taken over in his own school.

The Funny parts:

First up we have Marge & Homer watching the weather report on channel 6. Marge is worried about the kids getting home.

Marge: "Oh no! How will the kids get home?!"
Homer: "I dunno... Internet?"

Next up we have Homer and Ned preparing to rescue the kids.

Ned: "Well, I'm all for rescuing the kids... But I wish you hadn't sawed off my roof"

Homer: "My car, your roof, it's only fair"
Ned: "But it's my car!"
Homer: "Well, yeah."
Ned: "Hey whatever happened to the plow from your old snow plow business?"
Homer: "I never had a snow plow business"
Ned: "Sure you did! Mr. Plow! You're wearing the jacket right now!"

Homer: "I think I know my own life Ned!"

Homer proceeds to sing the Mr. Plow theme song.

Skinner gets out his old army uniform to take control of the school.
Skinner: "STAND DOWN!"

Skinner: "I said: STAND DOWN!"

The kids don't understand and kind of just stumble over.

Ralph: "Mr. Army Man, I can't sleep without my Reggie Rabbit."
Skinner: "Is that some sort of plush novelty?
Ralph: "Yes Ma'am."

After skinner has been put into a dodgeball bag by the kids, he sends Nibbles to find help. When nibbles returns with help, he rolls up to Skinner in his little roller ball...
Skinner: "You did it Nibbles! Now... chew thru my ball sack."